Double Agent

"I've got this double in a -- another world.
I've got this double in the -- heavenly places.
Is that so strange? You've got one, too."

From Daniel Amos' "Doppelganger"

A friend of the family died over the weekend. A chaste, humble man -- a Godly man, who served others with an abandonment that betrayed his true allegiance - his first love. It was an accident. It was untimely.

As far as I know, Fay was a guileless man -- no duplicity, no mixed motives or treachery. Not so with me. I'm a "double." I've got my feet in both worlds and it's difficult to walk.

Surely Fay had like struggles -- I'm sure he faced greed and lust and all the other deadly sins. Like Fay must have, I walk close to the edge every day. I am faced with the temptations this world offers AND blessed with the opportunity to make a choice to walk with "papers" from another world -- another way -- the only way.

But I'm a still a double. I still struggle with the duplicity of interfacing with the world around me. Further complicating this is my chosen sideline -- Magic. I must be careful to not cross some imaginary line over to the dark side. People all around me get that "look" when I let on that I am a magician -- "Oh, you regularly consort with demons and dark spirits," their "oh-so-spiritual" glance tells me. No matter how many ways I describe what I do and my motivation for it, I still "appear" to be in league with the devil.

Another week begins and this week I will be more magician than not. This week I will appear more in league with the dark side than most. So be it. There is One Who knows my true allegiance.

For the record, I serve Him.